Watch the video first, then try the Soul Scripting exercise below, to begin making friends with your inner voice.
Meet yourself for coffee
Set aside some time, the way you would if you were going to meet a friend to catch up. Try to carve out at least 15 – 20 minutes where you won’t be disturbed.
During that time, either go to your favourite coffee shop or just make yourself a drink that you’ll really enjoy (I’m writing this during the 2021 national Covid-19 lockdown, so right now you really only have one option if, like me, you’re based in the UK). Wherever you decide to do this, make sure to have a notebook and a pen with you.
Sit down with your drink, get comfortable, open your notebook to a new page and write the question:
‘How are you doing?’
Then don’t leave yourself hanging. Begin to answer the question right away, exactly as you would if a friend had asked it of you. The difference here is that the conversation will take place in writing. The answer might even read something like:
‘Oh, I’m not sure. Give me a minute to drink a bit of this coffee then I’ll answer you.’
Then you take a minute with your coffee before getting truthful.
Or perhaps you write:
‘Oh, well, I’m not sure where to start. Oh yeah, wait, no I’ve actually got some news I want to share…’
See what I did there? I wrote the ‘place holder’ words. We often change direction and use place holders in conversation, without even thinking about it. Do you ever let yourself do that when you’re writing?
During this exercise:
- have a conversation with yourself
- follow up with the next natural question
- play both roles – the person asking the questions and the one answering
- really pay attention to what you’re writing, and I don’t mean the spelling and grammar. If your friend stumbled over their words in conversation you probably wouldn’t even notice, you’d be paying attention to what they were saying and how they were feeling. This is an exercise in befriending yourself, so afford yourself that same courtesy
- if it helps, picture someone else (a friend, or even a version of you from another time in your life) and write the questions in their voice, then answer them in your own
Have a play around with this. Take it in any direction you like. Get to know yourself! Remember, we don’t plan or edit chats with friends. Let this be spontaneous. You can write it on loose paper and throw it away at the end, if that helps you to be conversational.